


Build God Then We'll Talk

by kathiann



Series: 10 Song Challange [1]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Gen, Ten Songs Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-24
Updated: 2013-05-09
Packaged: 2017-12-10 17:56:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/788506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathiann/pseuds/kathiann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on the 10 songs challenge, as this is written by me, some of the drabbles are kind of dark, no offense meant. I've decided to add more to this, so there is a second chapter, and will probably be more, only because they are fun. Chapter 5 new!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Build God Then We'll Talk

**Author's Note:**

> So I've decided to throw my hat into the ring with the rest who've taken MyOwnWorstCritic's i pod challenge. Not nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be, and I discovered some songs that I didn't know I had. Come to think of it, I'd only listened to one of these songs before I did this. In fact, I had so much fun with it, I may do it again, you never know! Being as this is written by me, most of them tend to be a little darker, that's just what I do. No offense meant to anyone. Also, not betaed, so all mistakes are mine, hopefully there aren't any.

_**The Dark I Know Well-Spring Awakening Soundtrack** _

He knew the darkness. It was his friend. He didn't mind the dark. He thought back to his little girl, she was afraid of the dark, always had to have night light, but now, in the dark, he feels safe. The dark hides the pain and all the evil. He feels safe in the dark. It's the light that scares him. In the light you can see everything, the lines and the fear in people's faces when they look at him when they see what he has become. A murderer. Was it worth it? He would say yes, but often he wonders if it really was. So he lays there in the darkness every night, and enjoys it, for in the morning he knows that they will be looking at him again, judging him, and he will be found guilty.

_**New-No Doubt** _

She pushed back deeper into him and pulled his arms closer around her. She liked this comfort that she felt in his arms. She knew it wasn't what should have happened, but it had happened and there was no turning back now.

"Patrick?" She asked not knowing if he were asleep or not.

"Humm?" He asked lazily and groggily.

"What do we do now?"

"We go to work in the morning, and we smile and act like this never happened. You go back to Rigsby, and I go back to Lisbon and it will all be ok. And we never let this happen again."

She nodded against his chest. They would pretend that this never happened which was for the best. She was getting married in a month and he was living with his girlfriend and they were at a seedy motel outside of town, and as much as she had enjoyed it and the comfort, it would never happen again.

_**Jigsaw Puzzle-Rolling Stones** _

"It's a puzzle man." Rigsby said, "You're supposed to look at all the pieces and wait for a match to jump out at you."

"No, that would never work. You have to do the edges first, then the rest just happens." Cho said contradicting him.

"You're both right." Van Pelt said, losing her inner battle not to join them in their activity. "You do the edges and then the middle, and if you stare at it long enough, it will all come together, but it will never happen if you don't actually open the box."

Jane tried not to laugh from his place on the couch. They were arguing over the puzzle and they hadn't even opened the box yet. He stood up and shook his head at them. He was going to give his two cents when Lisbon standing over her desk caught his attention. He made his way to her office and opened the door.

"If you so much as touch a single thing on this desk Jane, so help me I will shoot you." Lisbon said, not bothering to look up.

On her desk was the same puzzle as the one the rest of the team had been arguing about for the last hour. She had started hers at the same time she gave them theirs. And she had four pieces left to put in. "Oh, and tell Cho he owes me 20 bucks."

**_Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree_ **

He loved Christmas. His dad would dress as Santa and pass out presents and his mom would laugh. And they would always sing "I saw mama kissing Santa Clause" as they kissed under the mistletoe.

He shook his head, coming out of the memories. What had made him think of that anyway? Oh, yes, the radio was playing an older Christmas song, one that his parents had both loved. He hadn't thought of them in years. He found that he preferred these memories to the ones he usually thought of and smiled.

_**His Love is a Circle-Providence** _

She hadn't been to church in ages. Sure she went on Christmas and Easter, she'd been raised a good Christian girl until her mother had died. But she had fallen out of practice as she got older and had eventually only kept going on those two important days.

But she needed the added support today. She had arrested her best friend for murder today. He knew she was going to do it, had known for years. And she had known she was going to have to do it. She was sure with the right lawyer he would get off.

They could argue it was in self defense, although, the fact that there had been a CBI agent standing there watching the whole time would detract from that. Lisbon would not lie on the witness stand. She would probably not be called to testify, even thought she had been the arresting officer.

She would testify if asked and she would tell them that she knew what was going to happen, and she didn't stop it. She couldn't risk that man getting out on a technicality, so she had just watched Jane slit his throat, while she held a gun on Red John. She had seen and not stopped and that was why she was here.

_**Mazurka in B Flat Major Op. 7/1-Chopin** _

His wife had played the piano. She had been teaching their daughter too, when they were killed. When he got back from the cemetery on the day they were buried the first thing he did was sit down at the piano. He had bought it for her as a wedding present, surprising her when they got back from their honey moon with it being there in the living room.

_**Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep-The Mormon Tabernacle Choir** _

She couldn't sleep. This was nothing new. For the past nine months she had been having problems sleeping. At first it had been the 24 hour morning sickness, then the backaches, and then the heart burn and constant kicking. And now, now it was the thought that if she went to sleep she might miss something.

Her little boy had been here for less than a day, and already she was afraid she might miss something. She was standing there in her robe, stoking the top of his head with her hand, noticing the hospital bracelet on her wrist she smiled. She never thought she would get here. In the hospital with a baby of her own. One who looked so much like his daddy. Who knew it would be possible for a baby to be born with so many curls on his head? Or eyes that blue? She just didn't want to miss one second of it. She felt arms go around her waist and smiled.

"I just don't want to miss anything" he whispered into her ear.

_**Build God, Then We'll Talk-Panic at the Disco** _

I sighed. It makes me sad to see such a beautiful building being torn down. It makes me think of death, and I can't stand that. I spent too many years in the Army, worried that the next mortar attack or gun battle could be my last for me to be thinking about death now.

But I had to in this line of work. I turned to the blond man standing next to me. "We should go"

"Wait, they're about to blow it up, that's my favorite part."

So sad, the one person who surrounded himself by death willingly. He was the reason that I had to think about death constantly. Going anywhere with him was an experiment in mortality. He had caught himself on fire, went running from gun battles, and on more than one occasion had had a gun pointed at his face. Really, if anyone was going to cause my death, it was going to be him.

_**Graceland-Paul Simon** _

She liked 70's music; there was just something about the funky beat that made her want to hit the dance floor. She hadn't expected to go dancing tonight, really the whole team had just been out at a bar, trying to relax after the case they had been on. She hadn't even picked the song off the jukebox, someone else in the bar had, but when she heard the disco beat, she just couldn't help it. She hadn't given him a chance to say no before she grabbed his arm and pulled him out on the floor.

Now they had been dancing for hours, others in the bar had joined them, but the rest of the team had long since left. It was as if it was just the two of them now, trying to forget a horrible case with the beat of the music and the rhythm of their steps.

The song slowed and she found her steps slowing as well and her lips moving closer to his. Every cell in her brain tells her not to, but every other cell in her body is telling her it's the right thing, so when she finally kisses him, their first honest to goodness kiss, it is slow and hard, then fast and deep and perfect and if they can barely make it out to her car, it's no fault of her own, but the music.

_**32 Flavors-Alana Davis** _

She's not what he thought she was when he met her. She's an enigma, and every time he thinks he knows her, she shows something else that just shows that he's wrong.

He couldn't do it; tonight he had met Red John face to face the first time. And he couldn't kill him. He had tried, God knows he had tried, but in the end Red John had just ended up laughing at him, not even having the decency to kill him.

And while he had been weeping there on the floor in shame he heard a shot ring out. When he turned he saw her standing over his body the gun pointing at it.

"Self defense." Was all she said and he nodded. He was never going to say otherwise. He had never thought she would do it, arrest him, yes, kill him, no.

She never ceased to amaze him. Every time he thought he had her figured out, she surprised him again. Sometimes it was good and sometimes it just made him think.


	2. Paint The Sky With Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had so much fun writing these last week that I thought I'd do it again. Even if no one reads it, it was still fun to do. There is some classic stuff in here, if I do say so myself, so do me the favor of reading it will you? And as always, if you see one you'd like me to expand on, just let me know.

_**Teenagers-My Chemical Romance** _

She hated having to dress the way she did. She hated having to play the straight edged cop all the time. She hated it. Not that she didn't like being a cop, but she wanted to be a woman too. She looked at the administrative assistants around the building in skirts and heels, and was jealous. Sure Van Pelt wore skirts and heels, but only when she knew she was going to be stuck in the office all day, which was often. But she had to worry about tackling men twice her size. She couldn't do that in a skirt, she had to wear pants, and when she wore pants, they treated her like one of the guys. And sometimes she wanted to be a woman.

_**The First Noel-*NSYNC** _

She hated Christmas. She had ever since her mother had died. It was just another excuse for her father to get drunk. Any holiday was an excuse for him to get drunker than usual. He would get plastered and then usually end up in jail. It was a small miracle that they were never placed in foster homes. If it hadn't been for Mrs. Grundy from next door, they never would have celebrated Christmas.

Her grandchildren lived far away, and she loved spending time with the Lisbon children. She smiled at the memories of the time spent around Mrs. Grundy's kitchen table cutting out cookies and frosting them. She placed the flowers on the grave. Lisbon had gone to visit her every week in the home, and had gone to her funeral that had been held just last week.

_**Now That She's Gone-Destiny's Child** _

Now that she was gone there were so many things that he could do with his life. He had played the part of the grieving husband and father, everyone had believed him. They had all believed him. He had used the same talents that he had on the mass populous to persuade the police that he was a grieving father and husband.

He had even managed to end up in the loony bin for a few months. That just added to the credibility of it all. No one ever expected him. He had to do it, he hadn't wanted to, but he did it anyway. The police had come to him for help catching, well, himself. He couldn't slander himself in the media without consequences. He had really loved his wife and daughter. That had made it all the more euphoric when he had plunged the knife into them for the first time. They couldn't understand why he did what he did, he didn't bother explaining it to them, they were going to be dead soon anyway.

And he landed himself a job at the CBI, a grieving widower. No one expected him, and he had access to all the case files and all the information that the police did. He could see if they were getting too close, or if they were starting to figure it out.

And the endless pool of victims…it was amazing. He had the perfect one picked out, but he had to bide his time, and then one day, Teresa Lisbon would be his last.

_**Blueberry Hill-Fats Domino** _

He loved the spring weather. He warm breeze, the sun on his face, and he smiled. Sure it had been a depressing week, but it was a good day, and he had saved two lives today. He was walking around the neighborhood of one of his saves, smelling the fruit trees and he just had to stop and pick one. He smelled it and thought of the other life he had saved last night, or rather, very, very early in the morning.

Lisbon, he had saved Lisbon's life and as much as it killed him to do it, he loved her just the same.

_**Both Sides of the Tweed-Mary Black** _

Everyone at work would laugh if they saw him like this. Dressed in a kilt. He was supposed to be a manly man, and here he was dressed in a skirt. He couldn't believe he had let a girl talk him into this. He looked out of place here too, among all these pasty white guys. He was the only Asian present. And he had learned to play the bagpipes too. That was almost worse. He had not wanted to do this, but she looked at him with that smile and the twinkle in her eyes.

At work on Monday he would be back to the same old Cho, but today, he was Rosie's man, the one who was here to prove that he could be enough of an Irish man to win her heart, and if it worked, by Monday he would be taken, and he would be passing out invitations in six months, and if it all went as planned, he would be laughing when Jane's jaw hit the floor. He would never guess that he was dating someone, let alone marring someone.

And he couldn't wait to get them both in kilts. He knew Rigsby would fight tooth and nail, but in the end, he knew he would say yes.

_**The Trees-Rush** _

He loved the forest. Sure, he had said that he hated camping, but he had his reasons. He had to keep up appearances. He was supposed to be the tough man who ran screaming from the spiders.

When he was a kid he had spent all summer climbing trees in his grandma's back yard. Ok, so it wasn't his grandmas' back yard, but it was behind her house. It was public land, and he loved the trees. He and his cousins would climb the trees and spend hours playing pirates and monkeys, and on occasion pirate monkeys. He could still hear his grandma calling to him "Wayne"

He jumped, that really was someone calling his name. "Wayne, pay attention."

It was Grace, sweet precious Grace. He wondered if she liked to climb trees when she was a girl, or if she was a girly girl all dolls and tea parties. For a minute he allowed himself to day dream again of a future where he would teach their own children to climb trees and where Grace would be there to kiss the scraped knees and at night, to kiss him. To heck with paying attention, this was much better.

_**Paint the Sky With Stars-Flora Silver & The Celtic Company** _

She had wanted to be an astronaut when she was a little girl. Really, she had. She would lay out on the grass and look up at the sky and imagine what it would be like to look at them from the other side. She had all of the constellations memorized, and all the star charts. Her brothers hated her because she could show them up at their scout meetings. She didn't mean to, it was just so amazing. As she got older she realized how far off that dream had been. She decided to focus more closely to home, and in the end settled on the Air Force. She could try to fly to the moon from there. She was only in for one tour when she met Chuck. He was the sweetest man she had ever met, so when he asked her to marry him and leave the Air Force, all of her dreams of the stars went out the window and she joined him. It had been rough there in the beginning, but they were happy, until the accident. He was a mill worker, really one of the only things to do in their town, and one day there was an explosion, and she had lost it all. That's the day she left Iowa and joined the CBI.

_**I don't know How to Love You-Jesus Christ Superstar** _

She loved him. She did, and she hated it. She didn't know how she could make it so that he would love her back. He was just so broken. She tried not to treat him any differently than the rest of the team, but she found that at times she was harder on him than the rest, and at times, she was easier on him than the rest. And she hated it. She felt like a school girl with her first crush out on the playground. But she had been the tom boy who would challenge him to a game of kick ball and them kick his ass out on the field and rub it in his face for a week that a girl beat him. And he would hate her for it. But she didn't know what else to do. So now, she just pushed it to the back of her mind, tried not to focus on it. Then, when he approached her, if he approached her, she would know what to do. She would joke with him, tell him he was crazy, then kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

_**Rose-A Perfect Circle** _

I've been taunting Patrick Jane for the past six years. He started it first of course, I do not attack unprovoked. And now I had him corned in a basement. One of my "friends" was down there, unwittingly a pawn in the game to capture Patrick Jane.

But Damn that woman. She always has to show up at the worst times. She was going to ruin it all. I want that man. I am going to have to do something about that woman. I know that their relationship will be strained for a while. She ruined his plane to catch me, the though makes me laugh.

I know now that the one way I can hurt him the most at this point is to haunt her, and I will, and then, he will lose his love all over again, and it will make me happy. But as they say, it is the thrill of the chase.

_**Happy Endings-The All American Rejects** _

This was not how it was supposed to end. It was supposed to end with him smiling at Red Johns face while he lay dying, bleeding, by his hand.

But instead he was lying there, in a puddle of his own blood. Lisbon had shot him. This was not above the realm of possibilities, it had crossed his mind, but he never thought she would do it. But she had. It was hard to say who was more surprised when the gun went off, her or him.

And know she was pressing into his abdomen, trying to stop the flow of blood. Red John was dead too, but that was little consolation. He didn't even have time to enjoy it. He was going to die. He felt the world fading, turning black and her heard Lisbon's voice entering his mind as if from a fog.

"I'm sorry Jane. I never meant to kill you, you moved. The gun was supposed to hit the wall behind you. It was just supposed to scare you enough to drop the knife. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."


	3. I've Never Picked Cotton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've had this waiting on my flash drive for ages, but it was lost, and I just found it today, so here it is. I know, it's not 10, but I just do what moves me, and, I ran out of time when I was doing this one. I hope you all like it. Oh, and "Drive" that's the one that inspired my one shot "Colors". Not betaed, so forgive any errors.

_**Two Worlds-Tarzan: The Broadway Musical** _

He was living two lives really. In his daily life he was the happy cheerful man that worked at the CBI, the one who was always quick with a joke and a smile.

But in his private life he was a dark twisted man full of pain and anguish.

There was only one thing he had shared both of his lives with, one person who knew the him that he was in public and in privet. He loved her, he thought he did anyway

Not in the romantic sense, the love he felt for her was more of a friendship than anything else. He knew she cared for him, and that he shouldn't be leading her along like this, but he couldn't help it, she knew what he was like, what to expect from him.

So when she saw that he would sail her up the river in a heartbeat for information to his real passion, she wasn't nearly as heartbroken as he thought she would be, disappointed yes, heartbroken? Only a little. Sad, definitely. But that was the price he was willing to pay, her pain and sorrow were worth it to him. As long as she didn't look at him with that loathing and pain, he would be fine, and he would get what he wanted.

_**I Never Picked Cotton-Johnny Cash** _

He was a good ol' southern country boy. You would never be able to guess it now, he hid his accent well. He had been raised by a small time farmer and his wife, until his dad came back for him and thought him how to con people. It took his real talent to make the big money though. With his talent he was able to convince anyone that he was psychic, and he got the big gigs, and then he got the TV shows, and he got the big paying clients, and the world looked like it would never end. But then that fateful night when he tried to con the wrong man and his life fell apart. That's all it had been, a con gone wrong.

_**Drive (for Daddy Gene)-Alan Jackson** _

She remembered her first car, it was red, and not the best in the world, but it was hers. She would always remember the day her mom and dad drove up in it. She had passed the driving test the day before and this was her gift. She took her mom out for a drive in it. Her brothers had wanted to come but she had said no, it was her car, and she didn't want to first time in it to be with the baby brothers.

Years later they would thank her for not taking them. She had been in the hospital for a month after that drunk driver had hit the car, and her mom, her mom hadn't made it. The other car had gone right through the red light, she hadn't seen it coming.

Her grandma had told her it wasn't her fault, but she knew it was, and now, now she couldn't stand the color red, and when she drove, her knuckles would turn white when going through intersections in quiet neighborhoods, and she would think about that red car and cry.

_**Symphony No. 35 in D major ("Haffner"), K. 385 –IV. Finale. Presto.-Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart** _

She loved the symphony. She had season tickets; she just didn't get to go very often. She never knew who to take with her, she had taken Rigsby before, but he fell asleep half way through the first movement.

Tonight, she had taken Jane. She couldn't help looking at him occasionally throughout the program; it was Mozart tonight, some of her favorite. The emotions playing across his face, she was mesmerized. She wanted to know what he was thinking, and before she could ask he leaned over and whispered in to her "I asked my wife to marry me at the symphony. I haven't been since they died, I'm glad the first time back was with you."

And with that he reached over and grabbed her hand where it had been resting in her lap, he held it, and didn't let it go, not then, and not ever.

_**Whole Lotta Love-Led Zepplin** _

He could be such an idiot sometimes, but when he wanted to be he was sweet. And she liked that about him. He had been pussy footing around her for months, and except for that one kiss, had never tried anything, and it was starting to drive her crazy.

They were on a stakeout and they were board. He turned to look at her. She was gorgeous.

"Look, I've been thinking." He started, not sure what she was going to do when he told her, "I, well, oh, to heck with in, Grace, will you go out with me, on a real date, not just as friends, but as something else?"

It felt like her world was spinning, really after all this time, he was asking her out? "Of course, I mean, I'd love to. We should go tonight."

"We have to stay here until they catch the guy."

"Don't worry about that, Jane said that he's not going to be here anyway, he and Lisbon are on their way to arrest him right now, we'll be done by 8:00"

"Wait, if they're going to arrest them now, why are we here?"

"Lisbon doesn't like to admit when Jane is right, so we're stuck here, watching an empty house so that Lisbon can maintain some semblance of control over the situation. Notice she sent us, instead of going herself"

_**How I Know You (Reprise)-Aida** _

She knew him, and what he was about, she had learned it slowly, but had earned his trust, so when he went after Red John he told her, and she let him go, and she was sad, but she knew it was going to happen and didn't stop him, because she knew him.

_**Before Me and You-She Daisy** _

He had loved many people in his life, but nothing like this. It came on gradually, and by the time he realized what was happening he almost missed it. She was just so gorgeous. And she never even looked at him, not in that way.

She looked at him that way; looked at him plenty, she only ever smiled at him, those little shy smiles, the ones that said I love you, but you don't know it. The guy's psychic, of course he knew it.

So here he was, watching him and her together, wishing it was him that she was joking with, playfully slapping on the arm. But she would never have him, he didn't smile like he did, he was known for his dead pan, so that's what he hid behind.

_**Cocaine-Jimi Hendrix** _

It was like some scene out of a cheese movie. Cho was standing on the corner, trying his best to look like a low life thug strung out on whatever, and Van Pelt was walking up and down the street offering her services to whatever paying customer would come along. Really they were looking for a hooker killer, but it was still funny. At least it was to Jane. It wasn't to Lisbon who had broken her arm taking down their last 'John' that had taken Van Pelt up on her offer yesterday night. She was stuck at her desk, mandated medical leave, at least for another week she was on desk duty. So she was watching it from a tiny computer screen in her office and snapping every time she heard Jane laugh.


	4. Red Rabbits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I needed to get back into the swing of things with my writing after being on vacation for 2 weeks, more or less. I'm kind of cheating on this one. iTunes has this thing called Genius. You pick a song, and it makes a play list from the songs in your library. I love the song that I picked for this play list, and so I decided to just use it here. So, don't get mad at me, ok? Only did the first 10 of the 25 on the play list, so it's still following that rule at least.

**_A Wish for Something More-Amy MacDonald_ **

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He was lying on that stupid couch of his; 'sleeping' and she just loved the way he looked with the sun shining on him like that. It made it hard to concentrate. She sighed as she made her way to the elevator. Nothing would ever come from her silly school girl crush on him, and so, she was off on a date.

Minelli's secretary had set her up with her brother. And while she was going because she needed to get over this infatuation she felt for the curly headed man sitting on that sofa, she really wished that there could be something more between them.

It started to rain as she pulled out of the parking lot and she was reminded of the case they had worked in the country, where it had rained, and the way he had run with her through the rain. He had looked so relaxed and she sighed, it just wasn't fare.

**_You Picked Me-A Fine Frenzy_ **

It had been a long week. Red John had been taunting them-well Jane-again. And now Jane had disappeared. She had no idea where he'd gone, off chasing ghosts probably. She was driving through the back woods town that they had been 'sent' to be Red john. He had to be here somewhere.

The sound of her cell phone made her jump and she reached to answer it. "Lisbon."

"I can't do it."

"Jane? Where the hell are you?"

"I can't do it."

"Do what Jane? Talk to me!"

"He's here, right in front of me. He's just standing there, looking at me, and I can't do it."

"Jane. Listen to me. You need to tell me where you are."

"The old factory, about a mile from where you are now."

She didn't bother to ask how he knew where she was and flipped on the siren speeding to where he was. "What's Red John doing now?"

"He's just standing here. Looking at me, laughing."

"Does he know you're on the phone?"

"He's not stupid Lisbon."

"I know that Jane. Why is he letting you talk on the phone?"

"He wanted me to tell you, I pick you." And then the line went dead.

**_Summer Night City-Abba_ **

She loved going dancing, not that she would tell anyone at work that. She was still young, and she didn't want them to think that she was too young. She didn't go out to the clubs very often, but the case that they had just got through with had been long and grueling, and she just wanted to relax. She had the weekend off, and so Friday night found her at the only club in town she had been too recently. She knew she was pretty enough to get in, and wasn't disappointed when the bouncer let her in without a problem.

She was dancing to the beat, holding her drink in her hand, just ignoring every one, enjoying the feel of the music. She had rebuffed several men who had tried to make an advance on her, not worth the effort to get to know them, only to have them go running when they find out what she did for a living, they didn't seem to like a woman with a gun.

"Grace?" The surprised voice made her almost drop her drink.

"Wayne?" Now here was a man she could get behind.

**_It's Beginning to get to me-Snow Patrol_ **

I can't stand the way she looks at him. With her down cast eyes, like she's in love. She should be looking at me that way. But no, it's not me she's looking at with the smile on her face. It's not my jokes she laughing at. She just rolls her eyes when I tell a joke.

But this new guy. She's been dating him for a little over a month. Brought him around first thing, after what happened last time. Had Jane meet him, I thought that would be the end, that Jane would scare the begebiz out of him, but no. It didn't work.

Then I took him in the bathroom, like that jerk who tried to kill her, told him what was what, that we all cared about Grace, that there would be hell to pay if he hurt her. Told him the last guy who hurt her got shot. Hey, it's the truth. But still, he's here. And now, they're off to go out on anther date.

I'm beginning to think that I need to volunteer to stay behind, let Grace get time out in the field. If she's not here as often, then she can't go on as many dates. I know he comes and just spends time with her at the office when we're gone, and it kills me.

She should be looking at me that way, not at him.

**_It's a Heartache-Bonnie Tyler_ **

I want to cry, sitting there watching as the other team leads him away. I tried to get there in time, I really did. I knew that I wasn't going to make it, but I tried. And I failed. It felt like my heart was breaking. I look into his eyes as he walks past me, but it's not even the same man I knew and loved. He's different now. This isn't the first time he's killed someone, but this is different.

The last time was to save me, and I hoped that it would cause him to rethink his plans, but no. Here we stand, Jane sitting in the back of a cop car and a body being rolled out on a stretcher wrapped in black plastic. I want to pinch myself and wake up, but I know it's not a dream.

**_Ooh La-The Kooks_ **

I'm surrounded by idiots. Stupid ginning idiots. And they are all looking at me like I'm the one who's the strange one. SO I'm not shocked and awed by the way the man is dancing around on stage. I've never been impressed with him.

I met him in college. Well, I was in college, and he was a guest speaker. I was older than your typical student, having been in the army, but I was there anyway, and I was impressed. It didn't take long for me to figure out he was faking it, and that made the man interested in me. We became friends, and that's how I found myself here, at a taping of a show where he's telling the people about how he's helping us cops find the serial killer Red John.

**_Albatross-Fleetwood Mac_ **

He loves the summer, and the beach. He loves the feel of the sand between his toes, the wind on his face, the smell of the salt water, it's addicting. He doesn't come to the beach as often as he used to, it reminds him of happier times, and he can't allow himself to be happy. Really, he can't. He knows that others say it's not his fault, but it is really, and he can't be happy until the man who destroyed his family is dead, dead by the same method that his wife and daughter were killed. But today, today he's not going to think of that, because he needs to be happy for others. She's getting married today, and he needs to be happy for her. He's the Maid of honor after all. The groom all wrong for her, but he can't tell her that, because the only reason that he can give for her not to marry him would make him happy, and he can't have that.

**_I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None On My Fingers-Fall Out Boy_ **

He loved to watch the team walk together, they were like a squared from an old time cop show, walking all masculine, even Lisbon and Van Pelt. He knew when he joined them it threw off the balance, that they stumbled, but it was still fun, and they still got the work done.

He knew he should feel bad about it, but really he didn't. He loved making Lisbon mad, intriguing Van Pelt, and taking Cho's and Rigsby's money. If they wanted to throw it away, he wasn't going to stop them.

He knew Lisbon hated it. He had lost track of the number of times her job had been threatened because of what he did, but she just rolled her eyes at him, yelled a little, and went on with life, like he was a bad puppy who did his business on the floor. And couldn't be helped.

He knew he should feel bad about it, but he didn't, not really. Only at night, those long lonely nights, when he had nothing better to do than lie there and think about the women in his life, past and present, and what his wife would say about his behavior.

**_So Unsexy-Alanis Morissette_ **

She always felt so frumpy around him. Even when he was rumpled from spending all day laying on that couch. And when they had victim's families come in, did it always have to be after a long day? Today for example.

She was not and sweaty, her makeup had long since faded, it was well past the time that most people had gone home, but here she was, with Jane, finishing paper work. And in walks the mother of the boy found murdered behind the fast food restaurant he worked at.

Jane reluctantly gets of his couch to great her, looking perfect as always, and she looks at her own rumpled shirt, light coffee stain on the front, and no clean one to change into. It just wasn't fair.

Greeting the mother, and accepting her praise on a job well done, she makes her way back to her office and sits heavily in her chair. She's still sitting in a funk when he walks in.

"I know what you think, but it's not true."

"What?"

"You are gorgeous, no matter what."

**_Red Rabbits-The Shins_ **

The good pills were hard to come by. He'd told Lisbon once that he only got them from doctors, but he had lied. He also got them from a kid on the corner downtown. Sometimes he got more than just sleeping pills. Tonight the kid had sold him something new.

He had waited to get back to his house to take the pills. He wanted to be off the road, just in case, and was now lying on the floor on his bed room, staring at the smile on the wall. The room was spinning around his head and he rolled over onto his stomach. He felt like Alice, falling down the rabbit hole, only, that wasn't a white rabbit he saw hopping along his room, it was red, red and smiling at him. He had to chase it; it was going to lead him to Red John!

Stumbling up, he followed after the rabbit, calling for him to come back. He had to catch it. Wait! He knew what he could do, he could call Lisbon. She would help him catch the rabbit; she would help him get Red John. He waited for her to answer the phone and brushed off her protests of the late hour. She had to come help him catch the Red Rabbit.


	5. Being Drunk's A Lot Like Loving You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone remember this? It was resurrected over on the In Plain Sight board and I just had to do another one, they're addictive after all. Hope you all enjoy. A special thanks to lgmtreader for the beta.

_**All I Need is a Heart-Joe Nichols** _

Jane, what is your problem? Really, I just want to know what's going through your mind. You act like nothing is ever going to change, but it is. Can't you see that I love you? That I can help you with what you've got going on in your life? Really.

When I look at you and I see that broken shell of a man I just want to hold you and tell you it's going to be ok, but I've tried that before and it's never worked. Really. That night when we lost Red John, and then again when the best link we had to him in ages died, was poisoned by him, right here in our own halls, on our home turf…I know that there's no helping you.

And so I sit here, night after night, trying to think of a way to make you listen, to try to save you, but I know it's hopeless. I have to move on; I have to realize that you don't want to be saved; but that, that's the hardest part about this, that you don't want to be saved, even when I love you.

_**Tuesday Morning-Michelle Branch** _

He loved the rain; it reminded him of her. The first time they met it was raining. She had lost her umbrella and he had shared his with her. It was just a way to talk to her, and she knew it, but she smiled and gave him her phone number anyway.

It was a Tuesday when they went on their first date, a Tuesday that they got married, everyone laughed, said you can't get married on a Tuesday, but they didn't care, they did it anyway. It was a Tuesday morning when their daughter was born, six pounds seven ounces, small but healthy.

And it was a Monday night when he came home to find them, blood splattered on the walls, that face staring down on him. That next morning it rained and was real. And he cried. It had ruined it for him. Tuesdays had been special, but now, they were the worst of the week.

He stood staring at the fresh blood on the wall, and looked at the calendar on the desk, it was Tuesday. The worst day of the week, never a good thing happened on Tuesday, at least not lately. A small hand on his back and he turned around.

"We'll catch him, you know we will." Such a small hollow promise, but Tuesdays were starting to look brighter.

_**Soda Pop-Britney Spears** _

The sun was shining; she was happy. She had a day off. She wasn't going to think about work or the men in her life or how confusing it all was. She lay out on the beach and smiled. It was going to be a good day to work on her tan.

"Want me to get your back?"

"Jane? What are you doing here?"

"Thought I might get a little sun."

"You're wearing pants."

"Well…" She knew he wasn't there to get sun.

"Jane, did you follow me?" She hoped he hadn't.

"No, I was already here; I just wasn't planning on coming down to the sand until I saw you."

She shook her head and handed him the lotion bottle. She tried not to think about the feel of his hands as he spread the cool lotion into her already sun-warmed skin, the way his fingers played under the straps of her bikini, the feel of his palms as he skimmed just the sides of her breast, not touching, but teasing.

"You are too good at that."

_**A Lesson in Logic-Monty Python** _

Watching Jane mess with Cho and Rigsby was like watching Abbot and Costello meets Monty Python. Half of the time it didn't make any sense, and the other half of the time it made you want to pull your hair out.

Lisbon was at the pull your hair out stage now. She didn't understand how they managed to always get drawn into his traps. Right now he was playing them against each other to see which one would admit they were dating someone new first. Cho had been going out with the niece of an almost witness and Rigsby had been dating Van Pelt. While Rigsby had more incentive for keeping quiet, Cho was far better at the game.

_**In The Ghetto (live)-Natalie Merchant** _

She had grown up in this part of town, not that she would want to admit it, but she had. She hated it. She had left as soon as she could and hidden behind her quiet demeanor. No one had guessed that she wasn't the small town girl that she pretended to be. Sure she had been born in a small town, and her dad had been a football coach, but he died when she was 10 and she had gone to live with her uncle in the bad part of the big town.

She sat in the car now, trying to control the rapid beat of her heart. She had pulled the short straw and was sitting in the jeep with Jane watching a dilapidated apartment building waiting for the other shoe to drop. She knew what happened in places like these, there was crime and rape and drugs. And she'd seen too much of it as a child.

"This is a waste of time Jane, can't we just leave?"

"Come now Grace, you're the big bad cop, there's no one out there that can hurt you now."

He knew, and he didn't care, he was flashing her fears and secrets in her eyes to get what he wanted, and she cursed herself knowing that it was going to work. She gritted her teeth and settled into her seat. It was going to be a long night.

_**Being Drunk's A Lot Like Loving You-Kenny Chesney** _

He hated to drink, but on nights like this he couldn't help himself. She had been out with _him_ again. _He_ had come to the office to get her. And he had seen _him_ kiss her, saw as she opened her sweet mouth to his rough one. It made him want to throw something, to kick his couch, to scream at the top of his lungs.

It was his own fault; he'd never planned on falling in love with her; but then that one night after a case they were both exhausted and had done something they shouldn't have…He had told her it was a mistake; she had been crushed but had moved on, and now she was with someone else and he found himself drinking.

He slept it off at the office; it was closer than his home. He hoped that she wouldn't know, no one could know. He wasn't supposed to be like this, he was the smart one, the one who could control his emotions.

_**The Blues Ain't Working On Me-Loretta Lynn** _

A new day, a new outlook on life. She wasn't going to let anything or anyone get her down. They had wrapped up the hardest case she had ever worked on yesterday and if the man she had loved for years hated her because she hadn't let him extract his revenge then it was just too bad.

She got to the office, smiling and greeting everyone as she came in. He was in her office, not smiling, but she didn't care; a cheerful greeting and a wave and that was it, and then he stood in front of her, pinning her to the door frame and his mouth was on hers hard and hot and she smiled into the kiss.

She knew this was the first day in a long time that she hadn't been concerned by it, the first time in a long time when she had welcomed his kisses and touches and she knew that it was going to be ok.

_**Maria, Maria-Santana** _

She loved dancing, didn't do it often enough. She had taken a week's vacation to just relax and it was the night before her last day of vacation. She went out to a club far from her house; she didn't want to run into anyone she knew. The beat was Latin and she found that she was dancing with anyone who would dance with her, grinding and gyrating to the beat, just enjoying the feel of someone else's flesh pressed against her. When she caught a whiff of a familiar sent she whipped around.

He was there, watching her from the corner. She stalked up to him, grabbing him by his vest, pulling him out on the floor with her, leading him in a dance that had him clinging to her, moving his hips in time with her, his hands on her body and she wished they weren't here, weren't in public.

She led him out of the club to her car. They didn't make it further than that; hands on each other's; his on her breasts, hers on his ass; touching, wanting more, his lips on her neck, the sounds from the club filtering out, setting the rhythm.

_**Hysteria-Muse** _

He loved car chases, there was just something manly about them. He'd loved them since he was a kid, not that he'd admit it. One of the secret reasons he became a cop, the chance to go on car chases.

Right now he was flying down the freeway following the scumbag that had had the gall to insult his Grace, his love, in the interrogation room. 'Let him go' said Jane, and Lisbon had; and now they knew that he had killed his wife and his girlfriend.

He wanted to roll the windows down, but knew that Jane in the seat next to him was already petrified as it was, grabbing onto the "OH SHIT" handle for dead life. An evil grin spread across his face. He saw the car ahead of him hit a patch of water where a broken sprinkler had gotten water on the freeway and go into a skid; knowing what was going to happen, Rigsby put on the brakes and watched.

_**Who Am I-Smile Empty Soul** _

He was alone in the world, had always been; even when he was married, he had been alone. No one understood him, knew what it was like for him. His wife had tried for a while, had tried to understand what drove him, but she couldn't and in the end she had died because he couldn't explain to her why it was and because he couldn't stop.

He sat staring out as the chaos went on below him. He'd tried to do this once before, had tried to end it all, but had been stopped. Or rather, had been too weak to go through with it. But now… he had been so close and had lost the only person who had come anywhere near realizing who he really was inside and it tore him up inside.

The building wasn't that high, but a fall from here would definitely do the trick. He smiled and closed his eyes, flying into the wind.


	6. Sad Sea Song

_**Soul Singer In a Session Band-Bright Eyes** _

It had come to this, standing in front of him was the last man on his list. The last person to be eliminate as Red John. And this was it. Jane had used a gun before, but this time, this time when he was so sure, it was going to be a knife. It was going to be the way that he had always dreamed.

“I never thought you'd figure it out, Patrick.” The sound of his name on the mans lips made Jane sick.

“I knew I would.” He was sure, he was confidante. He had the knife in his hand. This was it.

“I wonder though, if you really thought of the cost.” Jane didn't give the comment any thought as he lunged forward and buried the knife in his gut.

When it was done, when Red John lay bleeding at his feet he called the one person he knew he could trust, Lisbon. And then he heard her phone, ringing in the next room. That wasn't right. She wasn't here. He followed the sound and found her, laying on the ground, her face pale, sounded in a puddle of blood, a smiley face on the wall above her head.

 

_**Times if Winding Up-Ginny Hawker & Carol Elizabeth Jones** _

It wasn't often that the team solved a case and stayed in the small back water town they had been called to. But this was an exception. The week they had been there preparations had been going on around them for what was the premier festival for the county they were in. Harvest time for the carrots, which seemed an odd thing to have a specific harvest time for, but there was a huge celebration. The murderer found, the case closed, the team was enjoying a bit of time just relaxing. They knew that they couldn't stay all weekend, but they could stay for the night. A fairies wheel, line dancing and a rodeo were the draws. They all listened as Van Pelt recounted tales of growing up and the festivals that she had gone to with her family. She explained the rules of the rode, sat entirely too close to Rigsby for being “just friends” and ate too much cotton candy. Lisbon, she had little patience for things like this and spent most of the night with Jane, mocking the people that they saw as small town bumpkins and eating roasted corn and carrots. It was a carrot festival after all. And at the end of the night none of them wanted to leave. Even Cho who had managed to end up in the armature part of the rodeo.

 

_**How Many Of Us Have Them (Friends)-Alana Davis** _

“I'm your friend. You can trust me!” She was exasperated with him. Since Jane had narrowed down his list of suspects he had pulled back. He had become more secretive than he'd been in ages. And she was worried about him.

“I can't afford to have friends Lisbon. I know what he's doing. He's going after then things I love, the people I care about. The only things that I have in my life that are still good. I can't afforded to let that happen to you.”

“I can make that decision on my own. I know the risk.”

“Do you really? I'm prepared to die for this. TO die if that means getting Red John. Are you prepared to do that?”

“You know that I am Jane. You know that I will always be there.”

“But you wont. I know that. You think you will, but in the end you will stop me from pulling the trigger. You would stop me if given the chance. And if you don't stop me, then I know that you would hate yourself. I can't have you as a friend. I care for you too much.”

 

_**The Gospel Truth I/Main Titles (from Hercules)-Alan Menken** _

“You watch Disney movies?” Grace said with a laugh.

“What? I have a kid now.” Rigsby said in defense.

“Yes, but he's at Sara's place tonight and you still have Hercules on the TV.”

Looking a little embarrassed Rigsby spoke again. “I like the movie. The songs are upbeat and I love the love story.”

Grace laughed and hit play on the DVD player. She loved this movie too, always had, but it was still fun to tease her boyfriend about.

 

_**Shampoo Suicide-Broken Social Scene** _

He crumbled to the ground. He would like to say that it had all been worth it, that the end of Red John had gotten him everything he wanted, but that would be a lie. Around him were the torn and tattered remains of the only family he'd had left in this world. They weren't supposed to be there, weren't supposed to know where he was, but they had. He'd been careless. And they had tried to help.

Jane knew that Red John was well connected. Hell, all of the suspects had been well connected, but he wasn't expecting a shoot out. Not one like had happened. Jane had expected it to be just the tow of them. He wasn't expecting an army. He looked at Cho, with a whole in the back of his head, Rigbsy the side of his face gone, Grace, crumbled against the obligatory crate that was always present in these situations. And the Lisbon. She was closets to him. Blood pooled around her from the numerous bullets in her body. And suddenly it wasn't worth it any more. He took one last look at Red Johns' body, put his gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

 

_**Sadseasong-A Fine Frenzy** _

Lisbon stood on the cliff by ocean. They had come to the town that was hidden in the redwoods behind her on a case a few years ago and she had loved it. She hadn't wanted to leave, but she had. She always thought that it might be nice to settle down in this area. It was quiet, calm, peaceful.

The pain in her chest intensified as he buckled under the weight of the grief and misery that she had been holding onto for the last month. She had finally had enough. She had finally realized that she couldn’t' keep going on like she had.

It was silly, she knew that, but she couldn’t help it. Last week they had buried Jane, next to his wife and daughter. She'd made sure that it was a good service, funerals are after all for the living, not for the dead. He old friends had been there, despite their dislike of her.

She had hidden it well, her disappointment and her grief. She thought they would get Red John in time, she thought they would get him first. She had been wrong. She had hoped so much that Jane wouldn't be alone when the time came. In the end she had been wrong about it all. Yes, they got Red John, but he got them first. Rigsby was never going to let go of Ben. Van Pelt was never going to go home again. Cho was lost in his own personal sea of tragedy and grief. And she was crying an a cliff side by the sea. She looked down at the crashing waves and had the overwhelming desire to join them in their playful dance across the rocks. She didn't think, she just acted. And as she fell, the crushing weight lifted and she was free.

 

_**Follow Me-Breaking Benjamin** _

The night was dark, she shouldn’t see where she was going, but she didn't care. She just needed to get out. She needed to run. The low lying branches of were hitting in in the face and arms, stinging, but she didn't care. She needed out, she needed to escape. She could hear him behind her, calling for her to stop, but she couldn’t. This was too much. This was more than she could handle. She needed to breath, she needed air.

She tripped over a root, she fell to the ground. And then he was there. And she fought against him, she didn't want to be here, she wanted to be away, she wanted to be safe. He tried to calm her, held her, pined her to the ground to try to get her to stop struggling, but it didn’t work.

In the end she wasn't sure where she was, wasn't sure why this was happening. The last image in her mind was the last person she expected and the glint of the moon on the shining blade of the knife as it came towards her.

 

_**Back Home-Pepper** _

 

Cases on the beach were always fun. The sun, the breeze, the smell. Grace remembered the first time she'd seen the ocean. She was twelve and her family had taken a vacation to southern California. Disneyland, Sea World, the whole nine yards. She could still remember the feel of the sand between her tows for the first time and the bite of the bitter salt water against the scrapes on her leg she'd gotten from climbing the trees back home. She wished, often, that she was that little girl again Things had been so simple, so black and white. There weren't serial killers and dead fiances and girlfriends. Everything was black and white. Everything was simple and easy. She wished that she could go back in time and warn her twelve year old self about what lay ahead, tell her to savor the moments with her family, but knew that would never happen.

 

_**Walk On-U2** _

“I'm damaged”

“I know”

“I'll only hurt you”

“I know”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Lips pressed together, arms twined, legs tangled. This wasn't about things being easy. This was about things being right. About things being worth the risk. About things being normal, if even for a moment.

“I can't love you”

“I know”

“You love me”

“I always have”

Clothes fall to the floor, shoes fall from feet, skin touches skin. This isn't about love. This isn't about friendship. This is about need and desire and feeling right, even if for just a moment.

“I can't be with you forever”

“I never asked for forever”

“I can't promise to stay”

“Neither can I”

“I don't want to hurt you”

“It's too late for that”

Hot breath on hot skin, slick and hard and unmovable and soft. Contradictions form every moment. This wasn't about faith or staying. This was bout doing what was right, if even for a moment.

 

_**Three Evils-Coheed & Cambria** _

Cho stood above the body on the ground. It had been unexpected. He hadn’t planed to be here. Hadn't planed to take a part above helping Jane stage the scene. But now...his gun had been used. It was self defense, everyone around would know that. The sad man had lunged at him. Cho was truly surprised at the body at his feet. He'd known that Jane had suspected that Red John was someone they all knew, but this was the last person he would expect. It just didn't make scene. He looked around for Jane and saw him with a hand on his side. A bullet graze if Cho had to put money on it. From the gun that was still in Red John’s hand. Cho couldn't use the man's given name, it just didn't seem right. HE just couldn't do it. He couldn't call that thing at his feet by the name that a living mother and father had bestowed upon him. It wasn't right. The monster was dead. And he had done it.


End file.
